True Life: I'm an Idiot

Last night I did something I never do, and that's watch a program on MTV. I hate MTV, that much is a fact; it's just rare occasions I find myself watching out of sheer morbid curiousity. And the thing with any MTV show is that you know right away what it's about and what's gonna happen, so when it finally does you feel like a bully or something making fun of a slow kid you later find out has a mental illness.

Anyway, last night I was treated to True Life: I'm on Steroids. I wish I was making this shit up. One guy was an ultimate fighter taking them to get in shape for his upcoming first fight, another was a guy taking them to be shape so he could make the cover of some fitness magazine, and the last guy was some gay guy taking them so he'd feel better about himself at gay bars, though all three reasons sound pretty gay.

Are we supposed to feel sorry or relate to any of these guys? Maybe it's MTV's intention to educate us all on the pitfalls of steroid use, but hearing these idiots' reasonings is like hearing a murderer say he killed someone because they annoyed him. Okay, you're an ultimate fighter, so? The thing that pissed me off was he won his first fight, the fucking cheater. And is he that retarded to be followed around by a film crew, documenting his steroid use in preperation for his big fight? Does he think no one from the organization he fights for will see it and see that he cheated and was on steroids?

The guy who wanted to be on the cover of some magazine pissed me off too. He takes steroids so he can be on the cover of a magazine I doubt anyone even reads, and openly tells the makeup crew that he has acne on his shoulder because he took steroids. So they cover it up? Does anyone even care he too is cheating? The funniest part was he went to his personal trainer, who shot him up on film. What the hell? The guy's a licensed personal trainer, and he's allowing himself to be shown injecting steroids in someone? Why wouldn't an investigator be on his ass immediately after seeing this?

I then came to the realization that it's because anyone with a brain doesn't watch MTV, and then I silently wept.

The gay guy was the funniest, though, just because he was taking steroids so he could do an awkward little striptease. That makes all the sense in the world, you impatient ass. At least the other two were taking them for some validity of a reason, this guy just wanted to feel better about himself. Certainly the way to go about that would be to be shown on national television taking steroids.

Dammit, MTV, I just want to see an occasional music video, what is this crap? I better turn on VH1. Wait, what the fuck is this? Bret Michaels about to catch VD? Why do I want to watch this? Maybe I'll turn the channel to Bravo, they're known for showing critically acclaimed films. Wait, what? A bunch of women and open-for-assumption-about-their-gender persons designing clothes? Well why the fuck would I want to watch that? What's on E? Oh god, Ryan Seacrest.