Every week in this article, I'm going to tell you the story of some of NMZ's most prominent members. If you're unfamiliar with what NMZ is, too bad. This week we debut with the one and only Kevin Malonik.Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Kevin Malonik goes by the username 'Malonik' on every forum he's a member of. And by every forum, I mean every forum ever made, as he's a member of them all. Seriously, google his name.
A pipefitter by trade, Malonik is also a keen practicioner of SmackDown vs Raw online gaming. Dealing with more clans than a Southerner, Mal, as his friends call him, is a force to be reckoned with in the online world, taking no prisoners. His usual wrestler of choice is his favorite, Kane. Malonik's Kane fandom is also legendary amongst the internet, with many a Kane signature being born in his profile.
A fan of MSN video and microphone chatting, Malonik is easily angered by me not possessing either. In truth, my voice is so intimidating I fear unleashing it upon the World Wide Web.
Though long thought to be the child conceived by Jesus and Zeus, Malonik is in reality the son of Colin and Coleen Malonik. With his pugilist brother, Owen, by his side, the Malonik family rules Canada with an iron fist.
Malonik is currently single, though he has his eye on some English broad who curiously is a staple amongst the SmackDown vs Raw online scene. He is also angered that I don't find her to be that attractive.
If you wish to contact Malonik, too bad. You don't contact Malonik, Malonik contacts you.
Next week, we take a look at a ginger.
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