Ghostbusters (Sega Genesis review)

With an absence of more than a week, I return this late Wednesday evening with a brilliant tale to tell. A tale of love, deception, redemption, and salvation. No I don't, but I have the next best thing, a review of Ghostbusters for the Sega Genesis.

Long sought after by myself for reasons even I don't fully comprehend, Ghostbusters for the Sega Genesis is the best video game based on that license. Not saying a whole fuck of a lot, but it is. It won't be when the new game comes out later this year, but for now it reigns supreme, much like Fidel Ca -- oh, wait! Silly me!

Starting up the game, you begin by selecting from three of the Ghostbusters. Once again, there's no Winston, as Sega has a strict policy of no black protagonists in their games. Instead, you have Peter, Ray, and Egon to choose from, and upon selecting them the story begins. I guess it's supposed to take place between the first and second films, but that doesn't really make sense, because there's no Winston. Yet they say that their business has been in a decline because there's no more ghosts, implicating that they rid the town of ghosts, as in the first film. What gives, Bill Murray? I know you're responsible for this, you racist.

So after some dialouge you go to a screen where you can select your level. That's pretty cool that you can select the order in which you go through the levels, but unless you're suicidal you'll start with the first and easiest level. There's an ominous castle in the background on the map screen, so apparently the Ghostbusters have moved from New York to eastern Europe. The castle becomes playable when you beat all the other levels, but it's still not the last.

Anyway, Ghostbusters is pretty cool to me in a number of ways. First, you have to buy new weapons and items in order to keep on trekking along. But honestly, most of this shit's not even needed, and unless you play on Easy it's way too fucking expensive until you beat at least the second level. The levels aren't really 'linear', in that you can go wherever you please, blasting ghostly apparitions and the ever-forboding coffee cups with your proton pack until you reach the bosses. There are usually 2 'mid' bosses in each level (just 1 in the first level, and 4 in the castle), and one final boss. They're all pretty easy, and once you defeat the mid bosses you get to catch their ass in a ghost trap just like in the movie.

The third level of the game is called the Woody House, which made me giggle. It's the token stock fire-themed level all early 90's games enjoyed, and it's a pain in the Cioff if you don't know what you're doing. You need to use goggles to see where the fuck you're going, or else everything except a small radius around you is blacked out. You can buy as many of these bitches as you want to use when they run out, but the shit kicker is that they just don't 'run out.' Instead, it goes from fully illuminating the area to just doing a square around you, before fading further. Now the square area around you sucks balls, so you'll want to equip a new pair, but when you do, what happens? It reverts to all black again. Then you have to equip ANOTHER pair to illuminate everything again.

Some enemies don't make real sense in the real of Ghostbusters, but it's a video game, so too bad. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is present, but in a weird moment it talks to you before fighting it, saying something like it loved marshmallows and was consumed by them. What the fuck? That's not the Stay Puft I know and love, that's my fat aunt. It doesn't matter though, he's pretty fun to fight.

All in all, Ghostbusters is still a fun little game to play. It just pissed me off Winston wasn't here, as he was my favorite, because he was black and I thought black people were cool. It can be a little frustrating if you don't know what you're doing, but if you're a fan, it's definitely worth checking out. Unless you're some -- some type of ass. Yeah, that's it. Some type of ass.